Will that girl be a good wife?
How to choose a good wife
Choosing the right life partner is one of the most important decisions in the life of every man.
Today, about 40% of marriages in the U.S. don't survive. There are numerous causes for broken marriages starting from alcoholism, drugs, and infidelity, and going to financial problems and incompatibility among spouses with broken expectations and the disruptions of normal life.
The famous saying states that " the man expects his bride to be the same all their life together, and the bride expects that she can change the man as she wants".
Unfortunately, it's never the case.
I want to talk about the girls who could be "good material" for a marriage. In short, let's talk about how to find a good wife.
Yesterday, I have been watching the "Married at First Site" show that is quite amazing. Young folks jump into a marriage with closed eyes - virtually knowing nothing about their potential spouse.
Why does it happen? My answer is Social media. Not that I am against the online search for the mate. My son got married this way.
My point is that the traditional way to meet girls locally is fading down.
I have been shocked to learn that the group of "advisers" of this show has received 55,000 applications! Social media has killed the normal life of young people. They don't have time and sometimes desire to date another person because it is like a "hard job to do". Get it?
They want to get married with no effort!
Maybe they want to go back to the arranged marriage that still exists in some countries?
It is an upsetting trend.
Yes, it is not easy to find your true mate considering many "parameters" they need to satisfy to be a great spouse. Yet, it is possible. Below are some tips.
#1. One of the biggest mistakes young men do when they decide to marry a girl is not learning a great deal about her family, first.
Man, your sweetheart was living in her family for at least 18 years, and was exposed to the family environment (was it good or not).
Do you know if any disagreement was ending in screams and coursing? Do you know how the kids were punished (if any)? Does the family have a history of extreme stress and how do they cope with it?
Did any family member have cancer, alcoholism, or mental problems? Are the girl's parents healthy people? Are they still married? Do they have the same morals as you?
Did your sweetheart love her father or she hates his guts? What does she respect in him (if any)? What qualities are important for her?
How about this one: how her mother looks like now? Fat? Ugly? Guess what, you may look at a copy of your wife in her 50-ties. Do you like this image? Would you still want to have sex with her?
Will your potential mother-in-law stick her nose in your private life?
I guess I have asked many strange questions, man. But trust me, all the answers to them can give you a good clue to your future married life.
Any family's negatives may and will impact your life in the future. So, don't be a chicken. Hot love may last 2-3 years until your relationship will cool down a little, and the respect for each other and desire to care about each other will prevail.
Only then you will notice the full impact of her family experience on your life together.
#2. Does she strive for a career or the family is a number one priority?
The career woman will put her family on the second level down. You will be impacted, your kids will be impacted, and your marriage will be impacted negatively, too. It is almost impossible to balance a career and be a good wife and mother.
The media's push for a "strong woman" changed the minds of many girls. Man, be careful out there.
#3. Is she a good cook, or is she willing to learn how to cook?
As for me, it is an important one. I am personally a man of many skills but cooking is not my trade. Yes, I can prepare simple food but I prefer my wife to take care.
If you answer "no" to this question, you will have to be a cook in the family or you will eat pizza or french fries on weekly basis. Guess where it would lead?
#4. How does your girl react when she is angry at you for anything? Any cursing? Any screaming? Watch her and learn. In 10-15 years, there will be much less love like in your first year of marriage. Will you be able to manage it without bad consequences?
#5. How does she handle money?
Is she a spender? Does she have credit card debt? What does she know about money management? Should I explain why it is important to know?
#6. What is her character? Is she an introvert or an extrovert? Whatever it is, are you sure you like it? I am personally introverted, so I can drive my car for hours and not spill even one word to my wife.
Would you like that?
Are you both the same or opposite? Does she like that?
#7. Being a wife is not an easy job. Cooking, shopping, cleaning, taking care of kids, washing your dirty and smelly socks... it could be not a full list of responsibilities.
Is your girl capable to take all of them in addition to a full-time job?
#8. Is she an optimist or pessimist?
I had to probably put this question among the first four. My wife is a pessimist and always imagines the worst. I hate it, guys. When the s&%t hits the fan and the problem must be solved, you want to have an optimist on your side. Life would be easier.
#9. Is she good in bed? It is not a trivial question. I mean, is she active or she is passive like a dead cow? Would she go for an oral?
Man, you want your life partner to be able to enjoy sex even in her sixties when the oral sex will be helpful to excite you more below the belt, so you will perform better. Sorry, if you are not comfortable with that and cannot associate your honey with "that" activity. You can skip this recommendation but I think when males and females truly love each other, there is nothing shameful between them.
#10. Have you seen her bedroom? Funny question, right? It is not so funny, indeed.
Being in the Army years ago taught me to keep the things like my clothes in order. I don't like when the bedroom looks like the laundry room with pants, panties, and shoes are thrown everywhere among other things.
If you are a man's man, you should despise that, too.
#11. Who are her girlfriends? Are they the accomplished ladies or a bunch of losers? If the latter, she places herself among losers, too. It means low self-esteem that often leads to depression.
Stay away, man.
#12. Monitor her reaction when the other guys talk to her or just look at her. Did she show any sign of flirting? If, despite your relationships, she likes flirting with other males, stay away unless you are OK to share her.
#13. Is she excessively jealous? Stay away. You will save yourself from frequent scandals without merit.
As you see, I did not talk about your sweetheart's physical qualities. I hope your head is cool enough to answer those 13 questions and make a serious decision before buying the ring, so, physical attraction would not be the only factor.
Of course, a similar list of questions can be given to a woman that is considering marrying you. So, the next time I will be talking about what women are looking for in a potential life partner.
Be a man's man and don’t say I did not warn you!
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