DON’T BE “THAT” MAN
Guys, yesterday I was in a gym and was getting out to my car. In the next car to mine, I saw an African-American couple. The lady was sitting in the passenger seat and the tears were running from her chicks down. She was telling something to a husband who was sitting in the driver’s seat with a stoned face looking outside.
How did I know it was a couple? It is simple. The guy would not listen to a girlfriend without arguing back. Right?
While I was driving home, I was thinking about the men who are not ready for a marriage but made a commitment without realizing the consequences.
Let’s imagine that you found the girl who you like. Does it mean you need to get married?
You know, folks, the problems with marriage is multi-faced.
Before your commitment, you must answer several questions to yourself. HONESTLY!
- Am I ready to possibly abandon many of my current habits to make my wife happy?
I mean many things including how and where you keep your clothes and shoes, or seating on the toilet seat with your smartphone for 20 min, or your smoking habit (cigarettes or cigars), or your meeting with friends for drinks, your hobbies if they take much time… I hope you’ve gotten an idea.
All of it or some of it could be a sticking point that could lead to a mini-scandal.
- Am I ready to take the responsibility to wash dishes, make the bed, clean the house, prep the food, vacuum the carpet, do the food shopping… you are getting an idea, right?
Some of it or all of it could be your day-to-day responsibilities.
- Am I ready to have the kids?
Man, this is a whole different game! It’s actually a whole different life style! I am not kidding. Once you have the baby, this baby becomes your responsibility for the rest of your life, no matter how old your kid is (even 40+). While your baby is still a baby, it will take your time, efforts, plenty of nerves, and abandoning many of your current desires in order to take care about the basic baby’s needs.
Then, your headache will begin when your kid becomes a teenager, and so on, and so on. Do you want to go for vacation to Costa Rica? Hold on! How about your baby? I don’t exclude that you will enjoy having a kid or even more than one. It is a rewarding if your kid is successful, problem-free, and has a good head on the shoulders. Because if not… meet your biggest nightmare.
- Am I ready to be a provider and to be responsible not only for myself but for my wife and future kids? What is a base for my answer? Do I have the stable job and good profession? Am I in heavy debt?
- Why do I want to merry this woman, in particular? (Did you read my article about how to choose a wife?)
Because she is cute? Because she is good in bed? Because she is sexy? Wrong! Make sure that you think not only about your desires but think about her. If you really want to make that woman happy for many years ahead and feel that you can sacrifice for her, then maybe you are the marriage material.
Unfortunately, many men do not even think about future life with a woman together. It’s not the one-night stand. It’s not a fun on vacation in Europe or Florida. It is an every-day life with its ups and downs, having a deal with her habits and requirements, her health and her mood, her desires and her problems at work, or at home, or with kids.
Even now, when my kids are grown up and have their own families, I still have a headache due to their family issues.
Remember, when two people are getting married, two souls, two characters with different habits who were raised in different families and possibly with different moral and attitude will live together. The first 2-3 years, while the love is still a fire, all the problems are solved in the bed earlier or later. However, as you live together longer, the respect and responsibilities are taking over. And if you did not have them, I feel sorry for you.
Man, I am not trying to scare you. I am just asking you to think before you do one of the most important steps in your life when you are ready to start a family.
And if you have answered YES to the questions above, congratulations! You are the man’s man.
If you follow my advice, you won’t get into a situation like "that" man in a car…
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