Q&A FOR MEN. Part I.
OK, let’s start…
QUESTION: Why do women always seem to go for jerks? Should I become one to get more women?
ANSWER: How many times have you witnessed the babe you could die for shows up on the arms of the biggest shmack/putz on earth? He’s got money, muscle, bike… but you and I instantly have him pegged as a walking, talking genitals. However, he’s got that babe and you don’t.
I have to reveal the truth to you that will make you feel better.
First of all, he won’t have her for long. Secondly, women date jerks or women who walk around bitching about how there are no decent men left don’t want a decent man. They want a risk-free romance, the one that will end without a tangle of responsibilities (and it will end).
Since you are not a jerk yet, I presume this is not what you are after. So, forget about it. In a case you wondering, jerks are born, not made.
If you want to know what attracts women (your sex appeal), memorize the following:
Women sniff out masculine traits. They recognize man’s man.
- As I have mentioned in the other articles, women look at three things first: your teeth, your shoes, and your watch (did you think about something different?). If there any dirty, cheap or missing, they are going to drop you instantly.
- Women are looking for alpha male, the man’s man. They hate indecisiveness because, biologically, it means you will be the first sheep turned into mutton. To appeal as a man’s man, look into her eyes when you are talking to her; always have the plan in advance (!); and be liberal about saying “no” – all things wimps don’t do.
- Watch your mouth! She is subconsciously analyzing your dialog for clues to your sexual compatibility. Tell her that you have varied interests (at least two dissimilar passions) like art and scuba diving – it beats one that smells like nerd. And talk 30% of time, no more.
Here is one story from my own experience. When I met my future wife, I tried to impress her with my numerous hobbies (and I had quite a lot of them). Later, after years of marriage, she has revealed that she was going to drop me because she felt miserable due to the fact that she had no hobbies or particular interests that she could point to at all. It made her feel angry and down.
QUESTION: My girlfriend has asked me to move into her apartment. I am not sure I want to. How to deal with this situation?
ANSWER: As I see it, you have the CHOICE. To choose the right one, tell her the truth, which is that you are not ready to share a roll of toilet paper with the woman you love (or, perhaps, cherish). If you need something to cushion the blow, try this: I read somewhere that couples who stuck up before marriage are less likely to have kids, less likely to get married, and more likely to get divorce.
On the other hand, if you have serious plans regarding both of you, just move in, man!
QUESTION: I like my girlfriend and think about asking her to marry me. What should I consider before moving on?
ANSWER: As one bartender has mentioned, if you want to check the merchandise, sometimes it doesn’t hurt to visit the factory where it was built. It’s not foolproof to be any means, but here is what you can learn from the article I have published here. I don’t recall if I have covered this issue, but make sure you have the same approach and similar values to money.
QUESTION: I am dating a girl I met about 6 months ago. At this point, I don’t know where I am in our relationship: commitment, in particular. Any advice?
ANSWER: Here is a small quiz for you.
- YES/NO Do you have an accurate picture of yourself and of the other person? Do you have strong sense of your identity as a grown-up man?
- YES/NO Does the relationship allows your sense of self-worth to remain intact, or to be even stronger?
- YES/NO Does this relationship energize you? Does it give you strengths to face other situations in your life?
- YES/NO Are you not only making a deeper connection to the other person but also creating rich relationships with other people, such as friends and family?
- YES/NO Are you more than happy to give up other romantic and sexual relationships?
If you answered YES to all of the above questions, you are a committed man, so, stand tall, and walk proud. If one or more answers are NO, you have some work to do to truly solidify your commitment. And if you answered NO to the question #5, you might have the problem, man!
One more thing to consider. When people are dedicated and committed to one person, they don’t waste time thinking about what it would be like to be with other people. Think about it…
QUESTION: How do I break with my girlfriend politely, so, I don’t hurt her?
ANSWER: You are right about “politely” since she might have a lot date-worthy friends and you don’t want to cease the opportunity to date them. Here are few ways to do it.
First of all, have the main reason why you need to stop dating. Use it in your explanation.
- Write a long sentimental letter where you do use “I” mostly but not “you” or “we” and read it in a front of her. It will help you not to look the right words and it will stop her from interrupting you.
- Meet her alone, and repeat why you want out over and over. Listen politely while she reacts, then give her the same speech again. She will know you are resolute.
- You will both will be better if she helps to pull the plug. Get the confirmation that there is at least one main reason you can’t stay together. As an example: “This isn’t working. Don’t you agree?”
- Not the phone! Unless it is absolutely necessary, never break up over the phone or by e-mail, text. If you respect yourself as a man, tell her eye-to-eye. You can do it in a public place (like restaurant). While it is far from perfect, it should help smother her reaction.
QUESTION: I am married for few years, and my wife started posing the stupid questions that drive me nuts. Example: What if… what do you think if I said… would you marry me if I… what would you do if you met a beautiful woman…? What’s really going on?
ANSWER: Play her game. She is not looking for answers but for fun.
Frankly, my wife does the same, and when it drives me nuts and I react with anger, she may even cry. So, man, remember to follow my recommendation as I have learned it on my own.
QUESTION: After living with my wife for over two years, and I feel that I am stuck. She drives me insane. She is bitchy, ultra-sensitive, and that makes it hard to approach her with the things that are bothering me about her. So, what should I do?
ANSWER: Man, learning how to live with a woman is like learning how to do brain surgery. It takes years of frustrating study before you have slightest dammed clue as what you are doing, and chances are that along the way somebody’s going to get hurt. Believe me, she might feel the same about you and has the second thought regarding you right now. Unless she is throwing steak knives at you, she is no bitchy and messy and oversensitive as the next woman you would meet.
Over the years, you will learn that women are always needy; that women are always looking for even the smallest things when they can blame you for something unimportant; that they will always look back at your first year together when you were more romantic but not anymore. At the same time, they will refuse to take any blame if they did anything what you did not like. Get used to it, man!
As soon as you understand that this is woman’s natural attitude, just politely ignore it, assure your wife that you love her (some flowers would help or kiss and hug), and you will be surprised that her anger will melt down as snow in the sunny day. I am married for 40 years, and still experience the same.
The bottom line: do not immediately react to women’s attitude without thinking first. Yeah, I know it’s not easy but it works, trust my experience.
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